Sharky's

I was surprised by Sharky's. I haven't been there in a while, and I was expecting it to be just another chain (that happened to use organic ingredients), but it was much more. Granted, it's a chain, and Sharky's does score low in the authenticity category, as expected. I ordered a fajita burrito and...well, let's just say I'm not used to eating burritos with zucchini and squash in them, but it didn't make the burrito bad, necessarily.

Quality of meat (1-10) : 7.6
The meat was a little bit dry and tasted a lot more like steak than carne asada, if you catch my meaning. However, it was flavorful, thick, and tasted of glorious charcoal.

Quality of house salsa (1-10) : 7.3
The pico de gallo contains too many tomatoes, but the "original" salsa is somewhat legitimate. It's obviously fresh and the ingredients seem to complement each other well. But don't believe their spiciness ratings. They're transposed upwards to make the place seem authentic.

Quality of guacamole (1-10) : 8.6
YES, the guacamole here is very, very legit. It's mostly just whole avocado, but it boasts flavor to rival the guacamole you made that one time when you had too many avocados.

Quality of chips (1-5) : 2.2
The chips are greasy and taste exactly like the chips from Baja Fresh, La Salsa et al. Nothing more. You might not even eat them, which is really saying something.

Size/Diversity of menu (1-5) : 2.5
The menu is about as diverse as other chains, that is, not very, but what gives Sharky's the leg up is that they offer organic tofu as a substitute to chicken and steak in every would-be meat dish.

Size of burrito (1-5) : 4.2
This was, for me, the most surprising part about Sharky's. The burrito was BIG, big enough to hold one over for half a day or so. Longer if you can't finish it all in one sitting, which is a possibility, even if you go in hungry.

Approximate price (For a standard burrito) : $6-$8

Locally owned? (Y/N) : No

Satisfaction Factor (1-10) : 7.6

Overall taste (1-10) : 7.2

La Salsa

I know, I know, you already know it sucks. But how much?

Quality of meat: 3.9
The meat is somewhat flavorful, but sadly, it is the wrong flavor. It does not taste fresh at all and is intensely salty, as is the rest of the burrito.

Quality of house salsa: 6.3
They had one type that was reminiscent of the not-so-fresh-tasting Santa Fe Cafe salsa, somewhat sweet and clearly blenderized. La Salsa features 6-7 kinds of salsa. Most of them I consider to be crap. Thankfully, they did have pico de gallo, but if one could ever identify the taste of GMO tomatoes, it would have been with La Salsa's pico de gallo.

Quality of guacamole: 5.3
Well, it was really just avocado. It's hard to go wrong with straight avocado, but in the ranking of obviously GM foods, the avocado ranked #2. Not so flavorful.

Quality of chips (1-5) : 2.7
Again, not so fresh. The chips taste processed and don't go very well with the salsa or the burrito.

Size/Diversity of menu (1-5) : 1.6
La Salsa fails epically in this department. I can practically count the number of items on the menu on both my hands. And half the burritos don't even have beans in them, effectively turning them into wraps. Boooooooo.

Size of burrito (1-5) : 1.6
La Salsa fails equally epically here. The La Salsa burrito is perhaps the smallest burrito on this blog thus far. A burrito lover could eat two, that is, if they didn't taste so awful.

Approximate price (For a standard burrito) : $7-$8

Locally owned? (Y/N) : Noooo.

Satisfaction Factor (1-10) : 3.6
Even before the end of the burrito, you'll be thinking "Why did I bother?" This sentiment will last an hour or two, until you forget you ever ate it.

Overall taste (1-10) : 4.0
The burrito was just barely flavorful enough to save it from the 3.x and below range. Just barely. Still. Not worth it at all. They probably drown puppies, too.

Baja Fresh

Baja Fresh is the premier burrito chain, not in the sense that it's the best, but that it's the farthest-reaching. Not for good reason. The thing about Baja Fresh burritos is that I swear they used to be good; then something changed and now they suck.

Quality of meat (1-10) : 3.0
Worse than Vallarta in Santa Cruz. Maybe. The meat is dry, tough, and flavorless.

Quality of salsa (1-10) : 7.7
So they didn't mess up the salsa, thankfully. Sadly, it's not good enough to save the rest of the burrito.

Quality of guacamole (1-10) : ?

Quality of chips (1-5) : 2.7
The chips are not great, but they're chips and they're edible and you can dip them in salsa.

Size/diversity of menu (1-5) : 2.2
More options than a soccer mom would ever need, but you aren't a soccer mom, you're a Mexican food connoisseur! The selection here fails rather epically, simply offering the same ingredients arranged in 25 different ways.

Size of burrito (1-5) : 3.5
Very standard size.

Approximate price (for a standard burrito) : $6-$7

Locally owned? (Y/N) : No

Satisfaction factor (1-10) : 4.1

Overall taste (1-10) : 3.5