Thursday, September 18, 2008

La Cascada Taqueria

Sucks. They have a sign out front that says proudly, "Voted Best Burrito in Berkeley." At the bottom it reads, "The Daily Californian, 1997."

Quality of meat (1-10) : 3.2
So bad. It's dry and almost completely flavorless. The flavor it does have is passed on from the cigarettes these particular meatpackers smoke while working. This is on par with Vallarta, maybe even a bit worse. This brings up an interesting problem, though. Because the meat at La Burrita wasn't reeeally that much better, so I have decided to, in bold letters, decrease La Burrita's quality of meat score to 4.1. It's not that big a deal, since I think the 4.9 communicated the bottom line: the meat at La Burrita is pretty bad.

Quality of house salsa (1-10) : 7.3
The salsa at places with awful burritos often receives high scores, as you may have noticed. Today I realized that the reason for this might be that the saving grace of a shitty burrito is the salsa you put on it. My first thought after biting into this particular burrito was, "Wow, I need to get some salsa on here, NOW." It is difficult to compare salsas 100% cerebrally, but I think this phenomenon maybe slightly inflates salsa scores of shitty burrito joints. In my mind, the chances the salsa is actually legit are at least as strong as the chance of an inflation factor. Anyway, the salsa was decent. It looked nice, too. But please. Don't come here just for the salsa. Save your money, for God's sake.

Quality of guacamole (1-10) : 4.4
Did not taste too pleasant. The flavor was okay but was also very obviously not fresh. Not sure if it's worth the 85 cents extra, but you should steer clear of this burrito anyway.

Quality of chips (1-5) : 3.3
The chips were nothing too exciting. They were standard tortilla chips, like the standard tortilla chips they sell at Trader Joe's in the yellow & blue bag.

Size/diversity of menu (1-5) : 2.8
This is not a great score for diversity of menu. The only credit comes from having a variety of wraps and vegetarian burritos, which are kind of the same thing here. Some sound interesting, however, I would bet they suck as well.

Size of burrito (1-5) : 3.4
The burrito was pretty big, I guess, teetering on the precipice of unmanageable for the non-conditioned burrito consumer.

Approximate price (for a standard burrito) : ~$7

Locally owned? : Probably

Satisfaction factor (1-10) : 2.9

Overall taste (1-10) : 3.1

I would rather eat any burrito I have ever tried (except El Sombrero on University and Shattuck) than this one. You should be tipped off by the deceving sign out front that the proprietors of La Cascada, as well as the burrito, are not to be trusted. I swear I would choose Vallarta over this place any day of the week, and that's saying something. Now that I think about it, the same might be true for La Burrita...no, probably just some of the days of the week. I hereby, again in bold letters, reduce La Burrita's overall taste score to 4.1. Because it really does suck.

La Cascada Taqueria
2164 Center St.
Berkeley, CA 94704

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Cancún Taqueria

It is worth noting that there are many taquerias by the name of Taqueria Cancún. I know of one in Berkeley, one in San Francisco, and one in Santa Cruz. Today I went to the one in Berkeley, though I have been to the one in San Francisco and it rules. Entry forthcoming.

Anyway, Cancún is another one of those Berkeley taquerias that has the distinction of being the "best burrito in Berkeley," according to generic student who is convinced he or she knows everything about everything. Let me tell you something. So far, by my experience, and in my own humble opinion, this is the best burrito in Berkeley.

Quality of meat (1-10) : 7.6
The carne asada was flavorful, I suppose, but not enough to stand out. It was definitely above-average, and not standing out means the meat was about on par with the rest of the burrito's contents, which were excellent. I also hear great things about the carnitas here, by the way.

Quality of house salsa (1-10) : 7.5
Cancún Taqueria has no less than fifteen distinct kinds of organic salsa. They limit you to two salsa cups. Can't have people stealing their precious to-be-burrito-juice ingredient. Unfortunately, none of the salsas really stood out to me. I don't think I have tried all of them and some of the salsas I had were even tasty enough and unique enough to recommend (cucumber salsa, pineapple salsa), but their staple salsas (original salsa, avocado salsa, garlic salsa) were let-downs. However, they do give you some very good pico de gallo in your burrito. No more than that.

Quality of guacamole (1-10) : 7.3
The guacamole was good, but not great, and $1 extra. It was somewhat runny, but it did add precisely the right flavor to the burrito. It was probably somewhat fresh, too. I am tempted to inflate the guacamole score because, unlike almost every other burrito I have paid extra for guacamole on, Cancún gives you your damn money's worth. I have never had more guacamole in a burrito than this one, which is a huge plus. The 7.3 reflects the guacamole in quality, not quantity.

Quality of chips (1-5) : 4.3
Chips almost always do not stand out. If you have read my other blog posts, you'll notice that the number associated with chips hovers chastely between 2.5 and 3.5. However, Cancún has excellent chips and they give them to you with your order. And they don't skimp, either. I'm pretty sure the idea is that they're more proud of their salsas than anything, and want you to try as many as you want in the hopes you'll find one you really like...that you can't find anywhere else. Accordingly, bomb chips. In light of recent burrito excursions, I'm tempted to say, "good on you for not charging for chips, Cancún," but they don't deserve recognition for that. The ones that do charge for chips deserve the attention.

Size/diversity of menu (1-5) : 4.1
Taqueria Cancún has a somewhat extensive menu. It's big enough for them to print their menu on pamphlets rather than post it behind the register. The reason Cancún Taqueria scores high in this category is that they have burritos and Mexican dishes I haven't seen anywhere else. They're pricey, (as is everything else, but I'll get to that later), but you aren't going to find nopales or mole anywhere else in the immediate vicinity. I don't know why I haven't thought of doing this sort of thing before: http://www.themenupage.com/cancuntaqueriamenu.html

Size of burrito (1-5) : 3.1
The burrito's pretty average-size. I ate it and felt somewhat full afterwards. I wasn't bursting at the seams or anything. Don't expect a big burrito, but don't expect to be disappointed, either.

Approximate price (for a standard burrito) : $7-9
Yeah, the prices on that webpage up there are wrong. I paid upwards of $8 for mine today.

Locally Owned? (Y/N) : Yes

Satisfaction factor (1-10) : 7.4

Overall taste (1-10) : 7.6

Cancún Taqueria

2134 Allston Way
Berkeley, CA 94704

Friday, September 12, 2008

La Burrita

Everyone swears by the superiority of one of the two proximal La Burritas. The burrito this entry will describe came from the northside La Burrita, but I am convinced that is inconsequential. My belief is that they both have their good days and bad days, since the ingredients are never exactly the same. I will not do another entry for the southside La Burrita unless it's actually different from the northside one, which I will probably never find out, because La Burrita is worth avoiding.

Quality of meat (1-10) : 4.9
The meat was very greasy and very gristly. It did not contribute to any desire to finish the burrito.

Quality of house salsa (1-10) : 8.0
The salsa was done well, in my own opinion. They didn't have any pico de gallo, but the standard tomato salsa didn't fuck around. Think La Salsa's above-average salsa, but fresher. (This alleviates most of the problems with La Salsa's...salsa.)

Quality of guacamole (1-10) : 4.9
The guacamole was runny and most likely came out of a plastic bag. It's only 50 cents extra, so it might be worth getting, but don't expect it to significantly enhance your burrito experience.

Quality of chips (1-5) : 3.1
Thank God La Burrita understands the importance of chips being served with all Mexican food. They offer unlimited free chips, which a lot more burrito joints should do. Sadly, the chips aren't fantastic, but one can't say no to free chips & salsa, unless the salsa is really, really bad. The chips at La Burrita are not particularly good, but they certainly meet all the standards chips should.

Size/diversity of menu (1-5) : 3.4
La Burrita's menu is not particularly expansive, but they do have more than enough choices to make you stand and think for a long time about what you're going to order. Even if you love burritos as much as I do. Really, it's not so easy.

Size of burrito (1-5) : 1.8/3.5
Take your pick between small burrito and large burrito. Large burrito if it's going to be a meal. Small burrito otherwise. I might actually recommend the small burrito because the large burrito almost isn't good enough to finish.

Approximate price (for a standard burrito) : $4-5 (small) / $5-6(large)

Locally owned? (Y/N) : Probably

Satisfaction factor (1-10) : 3.5

Overall taste (1-10) : 4.1

The rice and beans, which obviously make up most of the burrito, are dismally sub-par. I haven't eaten here inebriated yet, which I'm sure makes the burrito a lot more enjoyable, but I'm going to try not to for as long as I can because I don't want to help them buy terrible ingredients with my burrito money.

La Burrita
1832 Euclid
Berkeley, CA 94709

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Gordo's

Gordo's is allegedly the best burrito in Berkeley. I have heard the same thing about both Taqueria Cancun (Shattuck/Allston) and Chipotle (Telegraph/Durant), and reviews of both are forthcoming, though I will put off the latter for as long as possible for political reasons. Anyway. Gordo's is really not that far away from Cal, especially if you have a bike. It will take you no more than ten minutes to bike there and the same amount of time to bike back, even on a shitty mountain bike.

Quality of meat (1-10) : 6.6
The meat was the poorest quality thing in the Gordo's burrito. The carne asada was somewhat chewy and tasted a bit like chunks of nearly-shredded beef.

Quality of house salsa (1-10) : 8.4
Unfortunately, Gordo's doesn't make the salsa available outside the burrito they hand you, which is a shame because it reminded me a wee bit of EXACTLY WHAT PICO DE GALLO SHOULD BE, which is diced tomatoes, onions, cilantro, and maybe some jalapeños and NOTHING ELSE. It wasn't Los Pericos quality, but it wasn't too far off the mark then, either.

Quality of guacamole (1-10) : 7.1
The guacamole was just barely good, so I guess I'll call 7.0 the baseline for "good" from here on out. I could tell that it wasn't the freshest of guacamoles, but that's because I saw them put it in the burrito. It tasted enough like avocadoes to pass just above "decent." I'm not sure if they charge extra for guacamole, but if I had to guess, I would say they don't. So ask for it.

Quality of chips (1-5) : $0.90
I hate paying for chips. Seriously. Make them fucking free because they're chips. At least make them free with purchase of a burrito. How much money are you really going to be missing out on from not selling chips? How many people actually pay for chips and how much of a profit are you really turning on selling chips? Having chips with one's burrito will (or should) positively influence the burrito experience the vast majority of the time, which means returning customers. And if your chips don't have that effect, you certainly shouldn't sell them, because people will be angry at you that they spent ninety cents for your shitty chips.

Size/diversity of menu (1-5) : 1.4
The menu is very, very, very small. Basically, you get to choose between a taco, a burrito, or a bigger burrito with cheese in it.

Size of burrito (1-5) : 2.3
Yeah, it looked really small, but it filled me up, which makes me think either it had more girth than I originally gave it credit for or my stomach is shrinking. Guess which one. (Hint: 2.3) However, they do have a "super burrito," which is supposedly bigger, though I don't know how much bigger. So I'll give an update next time I venture out.

Approximate price (for a standard burrito): $5-6

Locally owned? (Y/N) : Yes

Satisfaction factor (1-10) : 6.7

Overall taste (1-10) : 7.2
Disclaimer: Given the burrito competition in the vicinity surrounding Gordo's, I was originally going to give a 7.7. I might as well have written it since if you're in the Berkeley area and don't feel like heading out to the city for a real burrito, Gordo's is where you should go. However, I had to adjust for relativistic effects to meet my goal of judging burritos of California on a statewide scale rather than citywide scale.

Gordo's Taqueria
2989 College Ave. (College and Ashby)
Berkeley, CA 94705

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Andalé

So this probably shouldn't even be on here, but it is my aim to review each distinct burrito of California, and I suppose SFO is part of that state. Yes, this is an airport burrito. It wasn't as disappointing as one may have expected, but it will set you back a lot.

Quality of meat (1-10) : 5.8
Obviously, they GM'd the fuck out of the carne asada. It was crafted to taste like grilled steak, in other words like charcoal. I would spend more time trying to describe it, but you already know exactly what I'm talking about.

Quality of house salsa (1-10) : 7.0
The salsa wasn't half bad. It was just the right spiciness and mixed very well. The ingredients were somewhat legit, too. Really. Go figure. But don't go out of your way just for the salsa.

Quality of guacamole (1-10) : 6.5
The guacamole was avocado. That's pretty much what guacamole is supposed to be, but, as you can imagine, it wasn't the best avocado in the world. Still, I was happy to actually receive guacamole, as promised.

Quality of chips (1-5) : 2.1
The chips were mediocre, somewhat stale, and didn't taste all that great. Sort of like if you left open a bag of tortilla chips for 6 hours.

Size/diversity of menu (1-5) : 3.2
The menu was the whitest "Mexican" food menu I've ever seen. Everything came with a salad. Everything. But they did have red snapper, shrimp, and something I've never even heard of called "guajillo chicken" wrapped up in all sorts of stuff.

Size of burrito (1-5) : 2.0
The Andalé burrito is distributed solely for gringo consumption. The burrito is sized accordingly.

Approximate price (for a standard burrito) : $11-12

Locally owned? (Y/N) : No

Satisfaction factor (1-10) : 3.9

Overall taste (1-10) : 5.4

Tasted like La Salsa, transposed upwards towards legitimacy. Nothing further.

Andalé

San Francisco International Airport (SFO)